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Grief Support Hub

Finding the right support to help you through the grieving process
Welcome to grief support services where you will find resources to tap in to for the varying kinds of grief.  Providing contacts for traditional support, holistic and spiritual as well as self-help tools and guidance for those who want to support you through your grief. We have also included people's stories which may provide comfort in knowing you are not alone as you go through the grieving process.
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If you would like to feature on the hub, please get in touch!

How long does grief last?

There is no set timeline for grief and anyone who tells you to 'move on' or 'get over it' is underestimating and misunderstanding the weight of loss.
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That said, the length of your grieving process depends on what kind of grief you're experiencing.
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  • Uncomplicated grief: Sometimes referred to as 'normal grief', most of the symptoms - including the five stages below - happen within the first two years of loss.
  • Complicated grief: This type of profound, intense grief extends for a prolonged period of time and can be debilitating. 
Grieving can take time

Five Stages of Grief

Blue Skies why is this happening to me

1. Denial

'This can't be happening to me.'
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  • Believing that there has been a mistake and your loved one isn't actually gone. Refusing to discuss your loss or acting like everything is OK when you do.
  • Busy yourself with work or other things so you don't have to confront your feelings of loss.
  • Pretending like your loved one has gone on a vacation or will be back soon.
  • Continuing to speak abour your lost loved one in the present tense. 

2. Anger

'Why is this happening to me? Who is to blame?'
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'Anger is a perfectly natural response, and in the case of loss, it can be directed at a variety of sources,' Dr Josell says.  It can also manifest as blame - the feeling that someone else is at fault for your loss.
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You might feel angry with yourself for some perceived role in the loss, or even at your loved one for dying. Maybe you're mad at doctors or first responders for 'letting' your loved one die, or at God for letting something so unfair and tragic happen.
Shadows and anger going through the grieving process
A field make these feelings of grief go away

3. Bargaining

'Make this not happen, and in return I will....' ​
 
The bargaining process can happen with 'if only' thinking:
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  • 'If only we'd gone to a different doctor, maybe she could have been treated in time.'
  • 'If only we hadn't gone on holiday, he wouldn't have contracted this disease.
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4. Depression

'I'm too sad to do anything.'
​It is natural to be sad when someone you love dies.
Grief related depression can cause physical symptoms like aches, pains and changes in sleep patterns.
 
Symptoms of the depression stage of grief can include:
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  • Loss of hope about the future.
  • Feeling directionless, lost or confused about your life.
  • Difficulty concentrating.
  • Difficulty making decisions.
Depression and grief
Love Yourself accepting the loss of a loved one

5. Acceptance

'I am at peace with what happened.'
​The sadness and sense of loss of grief may never fully fade. Although the acceptance stage represents learning to live with the loss - a newfound ability to acknowledge the reality of your loss and to allow sorrow and joy to live alongside one another.
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In this stage of grief, you're no longer immobilised by your sadness. For example, you can listen to a song on the radio that reminds you of your loved one without bursting into tears. 

How to deal with the grieving process

While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.
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  1. Acknowledge your pain.
  2. Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions out of the blue.
  3. Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
  4. Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
  5. Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
  6. Recognise the difference between grief and depression.
Maori couple_edited.png

Search here for grief support

Soon we will have a search button here for you to be able to put in where you live. You will then be supplied with a list of in-person support in your area as well as online support. 
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